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opposites-attract1Dating couples always lie to each other. They don’t mean to.

They just want to put their best face forward.

That’s why people who are dating should keep both eyes open before they marry and then keep one eye closed after they marry.

Assessing personality and temperament is one way to keep both eyes open. Assessments aren’t a perfect science but they do provide valuable insight into the people who are closest to you (and why you love’em or not).

Personality Types

1. The Golden Retriever (Peaceful Phlegmatic) is steady, reliable, balanced, content, loyal and carries others burdens, resists change, is unenthusiastic, and can be boring.

2. The Lion (Powerful Choleric) is confident, assertive, competitive, decisive, domineering, independent, self-reliant and bossy, pushy, quick tempered, and a poor listener

3. The Beaver (Perfect Melancholy) is orderly, organized, schedule-oriented, idealistic and their expectations are usually too high, spend too much time planning, and they are not usually people oriented.

4. The Otter (Popular Sanguine) is enthusiastic, fun loving, relational, inspiring, optimistic and undisciplined, speaks before thinking, and needs the approval of others.

16 Personality Combinations

Usually one type is dominant and another is secondary.

My wife is an “otter – lion.”

I am a “golden retriever – beaver.”

Lions make life difficult for Goldens.

Beavers make life difficult for Otters.Personality test

Personality Patterns

5. People usually marry the opposite personality. That which attracts you to each other can become the basis for why you attack each other, the longer you do life together.

6. People make friends with similar personalities to their own. Strong friendships are based on commonalities.

7. People like working with people like them. Work is easier when merely getting along isn’t the focus.

Temperament Types

There are two basic temperaments – introversion & extroversion.

Introversion and extroversion are not about being outgoing vs being shy. Temperament is about how you re-energize. (Shyness is social anxiety, not introversion.)

8. Extroverts are energized by people, or external resources. On a Friday night after a long week of working with people, an extrovert wants to get out and find MORE people to hang out with.

9. Introverts are energized by solitude, or internal resources. On a Friday night after a long week of working with people an introvert wants to stay home and read a book or watch a movie…ALONE or with a spouse (maybe).

Personality And Temperament Are Permanent

10. People do not “grow out” of their personality or temperament. An introvert can function as an extrovert, or develop extroverted behaviors, but they will always be an introvert.

11. People can “grow in” their personality or temperament. Weaknesses can be addressed, but more importantly, strengths can become powerful.

Interested in learning more?

Visit the following sites to discover which type you are.

For related info read “13 Things To Stop Doing To Your Marriage.

APPLICATION: Which personality and temperament are you? Which are your spouses or a close friend or workplace associate? Please leave a comment below.

I write to inspire people to be real, grow an authentic faith in Jesus, enjoy healthy relationships and discover their life purpose. If this material is helpful to you, please follow me.

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Bob Jones

Happily married to Jocelyn for 44 years. We have two adult sons, Cory and his wife Lynsey and their son Vincent and daughter Jayda; Jean Marc and his wife Angie and their three daughters, Quinn, Lena and Annora. I love inspiring people through communicating, blogging, and coaching. I enjoy writing, running, and reading. I'm a fan of the Double E, Bruins, Celtics, Red Sox and Pats. Follow me on Twitter @bobjones49ers


  • Patricia says:

    My personality type is Beaver-Golden Retriever. My temperament is introversion. From the assessment I am an ISFJ – Introvert, Sensor, Feeler, Judger. Some of what I learned I already knew about myself. Simple assessments that make you think, “Do I know myself as well as I think I do?” Very interesting.

  • bob jones says:

    The “Beaver – Golden Retriever” is an interesting combo. They are loyal achievers. They usually doubt themselves and their contribution. “Am I doing enough?”

  • Gary Horsman says:

    People are very complicated. Over time, I’ve become less interested in finding neat categories I can fit people in and more interested in what makes each person unique and maybe some of the reasons they may have gotten there.

    In my later years, I’ve also become aware of how I’ve evolved over time. I don’t feel like I’m the same person I was even five years ago when I went through some very challenging changes in my life (not for the better). It would have been easy to just fold in on myself and disengage. But it’s only recently that I’ve slowly realized how much of my outlook on life depends on my attitude. And now I know that it is a choice to find a kind of peace, even if the circumstances have not really changed. I just changed how I dealt with them.

    And in that way, I guess who we are and how we appear to others can be a function of a certain self-awareness and whether change for the better is possible. And this can have a profound impact on how we relate to others and how they perceive us.

    Some people, I’m afraid, do not take an inventory of their lives in any serious way. They aspire to be better but give up when it seems like to much work or unattainable. Or they lack self-awareness and feel no need to grow or evolve. People with charmed lives, the good-looking, the healthy, the well-to-do, often slip into self-delusion because there is nothing or no one to challenge or criticize them.

    Those of us who have faced challenges, who’ve had their faith tested are more likely to embrace a change that helps them get to the next level and keep going rather than just giving up.

    Being divorced (and still single at this point in my life) has made me question my worth as a companion and as a father. But it forced me to think about relationships and how people with similar or different temperaments get along. And I admit that I’m not sure anyone can really pinpoint those things in a person’s disposition that can spur success in a marriage. Each person is different, therefore each relationship has its own unique dynamics. There is no formula. You just have to be committed to being kind and empathetic to everyone around you and live out those values you were taught as a Christian. And then? Just hope for the best.

  • bob jones says:

    Deep thoughts, Gary. I have always appreciated your careful aversion to pigeonholes and stereotypes. You’ve not only grown older, you’ve grown wiser.

    Remembering the “Rock Solid” days and our foray into hosting a radio program together – good days. Your “let’s be real” take on our plans for the project were always astute if not always easily accepted.

    You’ve faced your challenges with faith, courage and resolve. I’m glad you never gave up. You’ve taken responsibility for your life and your daughter (she’s a cutie). Proud of you. Your best days are ahead.

  • Gary Horsman says:

    Thanks PB. You were always there for me.

    God bless you and yours.

  • gurusneh says:

    Intresting article. . Keep it up

    Check out The Personality and Health of Labrador Retrievers

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