On Saturday July 26, 2014 I had the privilege of officiating our firstborn son’s wedding. It was a tranquil setting on his fiance’s family’s farm, near Delmas, Saskatchewan.
Four years earli
er in May, I had the same pleasure at our youngest son, Jean Marc’s wedding in Edmonton, Alberta.
At Jean Marc and Angie’s wedding it rained and snowed. During Cory and Lynsey’s wedding rehearsal it rained.
In every marriage there will be days of rain or snow. I told Cory and Jean Marc that they could needlessly avoid creating their own storms.
I told them I loved them and was proud of the men they had become and offered them this advice.
Four Things I Told My Sons Before They Got Married
1. You can be right or you can be happy. The Jones men share a strength in common (which is also our liability) – we think before we share our opinion but when we speak we know what we say is right. Its important for us to be right. We tend to defend what we say once we say something on any issue – whether it’s vital or merely preferential.
Sons, the woman you are marrying shares your principles, priorities and values (or you wouldn’t be marrying her). So most, if not all differences, are about preference or opinion.
In matters of principle stand like a cedar; in matters of preference bend like a willow.
To be happy, be prepared for some “willow time.” You don’t have to be “right” all of the time.
2. Buy the red chair not the black one. My wife Jocelyn wanted a reading chair. I surprised her on her birthday by purchasing a top of the line, black leather, Lazy-Boy recliner. I thought it was a great gift. She didn’t. My first m
istake was not asking her what she would like. My choice was what I thought she would like (it was what I actually liked).
Later she found a red, leather chair.
It was more expensive.
It did not recline.
It just sat there.
The black chair is now in our basement and is used occasionally by a guest or myself.
The red chair which we purchased is in our living room, used multiple times a day by Jocelyn.
Sons, buy the red chair.
3. Marriage can be heaven or hell or both at the same time. Its been said that marriages are made in heaven but so are thunder and lightening.
Marriage is the union of two imperfect people under one storm shelter. Before you get married keep both eyes open. After you are married, keep one eye shut. Be your spouse’s biggest fan, not their worst critic.
Sons, happy marriages are made up of two good kissers and two good forgivers.
4. You are the leader in your home. Leaders always go first.
Sons, be the first to:
open the car door for your wife,
open any door for your wife including the ones to make her dreams come true,
to ask for forgiveness
to forgive,
to admit you’re wrong (if you are),
to give up your preferences and rights,
to serve.
A happy life: its your choice, especially when it may be storming.
APPLICATION: What marriage advice have you given your children? Please leave a comment below.
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Beautiful and valuable advise. Your children are blessed.
Thank you, Cynthia. We love our sons and their wives. We are blessed, too!