I ran into the house clammy and panicked.
I did not want to be alone.
But, I also unquestionably did not want to share my tormenting thoughts with anyone else.
Are You OK?
Concerned by my frantic behavior, my husband asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lied, as I handed off the kids for bedtime.
I hurried to my bedroom.
“How does God deal with suicide? Would I really go to hell? How would my family deal with it? Would I ever actually have the guts to do it?”
I locked my door, longing to leave these forceful thoughts on the other side of it, but they followed me to my bed, the place I always ran to when I was afraid, the place I had been spending most of my days. I grabbed my Bible and flung it open, desperate for God to jump out and just hold me and promise me everything was going to be okay.
Meeting Sarah Ball
Sarah Ball opens her book, Fearless In 21 Days by pulling back the curtains on her very private battle with mental illness. Sarah is a mom to five beautiful children, a wife to Kevin, served in the Canadian military, is a real estate agent and an author. Now, she’s becoming a friend to hundreds of men and women who read her blog and purchase her book.
Meeting Sarah, who is from Lethbridge, at an Edmonton Starbucks, was one of those “what-are-the-odds-of-that-happening” experiences. Years later I was honored when she asked me to endorse her first book.
For anyone facing depression or anxiety, Fearless In 21 Days is your breakthrough in a book.
6 Takeaways From 21 Days
1. There are no quick fixes for mental illness. Fearless in 21 Days is not a breeze-through book.
2. Don’t let your drive and perfectionism tell you that you have to complete it in twenty-one days just because the title says so. The twenty-one chapters contain revelations or insights Sarah gained over time.
Read it at your own pace, prayerfully, and with commitment. It is up to God to show you the way you should go, but it is up to you to walk yourself there.
3. Fearless In 21 Days is not meant to replace medication, therapy, or your spiritual support. Everything is to be discerned by you and those who are responsible for your spiritual, mental, and physical care.
Have a conversation with your doctor. It is important to ensure that what you are dealing with is indeed an anxiety issue and not an underlying health issue.
4. Mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, are one of the most misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and misguided illnesses in the Christian faith. Sadly, many Christians who struggle with anxiety and panic are falsely led to believe that it is merely a spiritual struggle, and undergo humiliating attempts at deliverance.
Some are also led to believe it’s their fault because of sin or because their faith isn’t enough to heal them. In reality the majority of people who struggle with severe anxiety have an incredibly dependent, vulnerable and personal relationship with Jesus.
5. God wants you healthy – body, soul and mind. Sarah was a healthy 36-year-old, in a 100-year-old anxious body all thanks to her mind. The good news is that God wants to restore not only your mental health, but also your physical health.
6. Faith and medication are allies with God. Medication should never be the end of your healing journey, it should be the beginning.
Medication does not heal your past, or your way of thinking, and it does not restore the weariness of your soul, but it can help in the physical realm of things and get you stable enough to deal with the root causes.
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