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When its been a long time since I’ve spoken to a friend, I tend to forget just how good of a friend they are.

One day, when we finally DO reconnect, I wonder why I ever allowed the time and the distance to keep us apart.

We all need community.

I truly believe we were created for relationship and to be amongst people.



Melissa BMelissa Bensonenson grew up in the community at Central/North Pointe. Melissa served our church in outreach ministries to children and youth in downtown Edmonton. She was employed as a youth pastor in Ottawa, Ontario and has volunteered in Haiti and most recently in Malawi serving orphans. Now she is married with a child of her own. She writes at Rebel Against Apostrophes.


When I think of community, I don’t limit it to a physical location.

Community to me is a network of people that live life alongside one another; geography aside.

My parents have an incredible network of people in their church in Edmonton (North Pointe), in which I was raised.

A privilege if you ask me, because its now a third-generation community.

Its a major part of who I am, because I was brought up alongside so many other families.

“It takes a village to raise a child,” has a lot of merit for me.

However, this sort of community is not perfect.

In fact, I have come to believe, that it actually finds strength in its imperfection.


Its through the struggle to escape the cocoon that a butterfly completes its transformation.

And so, I have begun to thank God for the fact that imperfect community is all part of the process to bring perfection in me.

Now, doesn’t this sound so romantic and ideal?

I mean, I love the idea and concept of community.

I love the idealism we can spout when we talk about what we want our community to look like.

But you know what?

The image we have in our mind of living in community usually appeals only to the one who is dreaming, because we fashion community to our liking.


We plan out direction and goals based on what we would want ourselves.

The greater good is often secondary to my perceived good.

When community life infringes on what makes me comfortable, I start to find reason to withdraw.

I make excuses why I can’t show up to group events or to attend church consistently.

I start to pull away from the whole and focus maybe only on the few people I actually get along well with.

All the while, I am a poorly developed butterfly, wondering why I can’t fly.

I’ve begun a journey to rediscover the fight through the cocoon.


When I mentioned about the friend that I hadn’t done a good job keeping in touch with, I was referring to Jesus.

I’ve actually done a fantastic job of keeping Him on the fringe of my life over the last few years and justified the behavior with petty excuses.

There’s been something significantly different happening in my life as a result of my determination to stick with community: I’ve rediscovered my best friend, Jesus, and I can already see things shifting in my day to day life.

There’s a hope dawning.

And now, I find myself back in the swing of who I know I am: someone who longs to bless; who looks for the chance to offer herself to others.

And the best part is, I’m loving who I am becoming.

APPLICATION: What are your insights on community? Please leave a comment below. Thank you.

I write to inspire people to be real, grow an authentic faith in Jesus, enjoy healthy relationships and discover their life purpose. If this material is helpful to you, please follow me.

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Bob Jones

Happily married to Jocelyn for 44 years. We have two adult sons, Cory and his wife Lynsey and their son Vincent and daughter Jayda; Jean Marc and his wife Angie and their three daughters, Quinn, Lena and Annora. I love inspiring people through communicating, blogging, and coaching. I enjoy writing, running, and reading. I'm a fan of the Double E, Bruins, Celtics, Red Sox and Pats. Follow me on Twitter @bobjones49ers


  • Carole Schlachta says:

    First, I would like to thank you, Pastor Bob for posting this beautiful message . I’m looking for a community that wants flawed people. They would have a lot of material with me. I will answer this lovely lady.
    Please give my love to Joscelyn?

  • bob jones says:

    Thanks Carole! Great having you as apart of our online community.

  • adena lowry says:

    Dear Melissa: I love the idea of community. Getting involved in church, in the lives of others, helps community build. It’s hard to be that vulneralbe, but vulnerability can lead to creativity and courage. It’s about taking a chance and building relationship. So much easier to say than to do. I’ve worked with Food for the Hungry in Africa and they strongly believe that relationhip can help eradicate poverty. A crazy idea, but think about it. If you are alone and accountable to no one, then you are more apt to let your world slide. But in relationship, you want to help, you want to be part of something, you want to contribute, and you desire to show love, compassion, and understanding. You want to work to something better. Ideas also flow with community. You can bounce your insanity off someone else to find out if you truly are crazy or just nuts for a moment. Speaking outloud helps unravel the knot inside your head.
    I know we need each other, as we need God. I heard a great quote: “Get off of Facebook and get your face into the book.” 🙂 As I read God’s word, it reminds me of our desperate and dying world that needs our interactions and our prayers. No one comes to the Father untless He calls them. We are the workers who soften the soil and perpare hearts to hear from God.
    Bless you and your work in the community. In God’s army, wounded soldiers can serve. – Adena

  • bob jones says:

    Great insight to the messiness and marvel of community, Adena. Relationship can help eradicate financial and spiritual poverty.

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