Christa Gagnon is proud of her two handsome boys and one precious little girl. It’s what it is to have a mom’s heart.
When all of her friends in high school were discussing which programs they were going to take in University and what they wanted to be when they “grew up” she can remember thinking that her one and only desire in life was to be a mom.
This post was originally published in 2016.
A Mom’s Heart
Being a mom was the best career choice she ever made.
“I will never forget the first amazing months with my first child. Looking at him and thinking that I had no idea the heart could feel that amount of love for one human being. To my surprise it was the same when Jordan was born and again when Jameson was born.
My love with every new baby was not split – just the opposite – there was much more of it.”
Christa was the subject of CTV and Global news specials in telling her daughter Jordan’s story. She shared this story of being a mom at North Pointe on Mother’s Day 2016.
Helpless to Help
Jordan was diagnosed in 2016 with a rare, terminal, genetic disorder – Giant Axonal Neuropathy (GAN) – that currently has no cure. This is the worst feeling for a mother. We are supposed to protect and shelter our children from harm and in that moment I was completely helpless.
My heart was so sad that my body physically ached.
For the first few weeks I felt like a zombie – I went through the movements of what I knew needed to happen to move forward.
I prayed every chance I could; I called doctors; we continued with everyday life and work. I had children that still needed me and they were learning from my actions.
Mothers Are Warriors
One day it changed all of a sudden – there was fight in me. I was going to fight for all those moments I wasn’t ready to give up on.
I teach my children that if you are trying to do something and can’t get it done on your own, you need to ask for help.
Well, that’s what I did.
I talked to everyone that would listen – I told friends, family, our church, our community, schools, Facebook – really I mean everyone!
And you know what happened?
People showed up and said, “We will help you.”
Making The Best Decisions
I look at my children and think to myself, ‘I love you more than anything in this world and that is what being a mom means to me.’ It means no longer having control over your own heart, feeling every high and low of these little humans.
Being a mom to me means guessing and second-guessing that what we are doing is right.
It means having faith that I am making the best decisions for them and that they will grow up to be strong courageous adults that will stand up and fight for what is right.
Jordan and Jesus
Faith is the reason that this is not the end of our story.
Jesus has Jordan in his arms and will carry her through this. I trust and have faith for every step of our journey, every corner we turn.
I share our story because every step of the way – in big ways and sometimes very subtle ways – Jesus reminds me that He has got this and He will carry us through it.”
Update
Read about Jordan’s updated journey here “Jordan’s Journey For A Cure” and here Part 2.
May 1, 2025 – “Today’s Stollery pediatric code blue was for my Jordan. How is that even our reality, how can that even be true??
Last night I took Jordan in for a low temp, they found a bladder infection and decided it best to keep her overnight to warm her up and start some antibiotics. Thank God, because at 6 am, Jordan’s oxygen dropped drastically to the 20’s and the nurses were not able to wake her, I was not able to wake her, she was on bipap, a machine that forces her to breath couldn’t even get her to take a breath.
A code was called.
Code Blue
And I stood at the end of the bed, helpless, afraid that I would never see those beautiful blue eyes again. That today was going to be the last day of Jordan’s journey.
But instead just as the nurses tried one last thing before bagging her, she opened her eyes and said “could I move this mask, it’s hurting my face.”
And just like that, Jordan was back.
As of right now we don’t really have an answer for why this happened and I am terrified it will happen again.
But right now, right now I’m just happy to be cuddling Jordan.
Related Information
Please pray for Jordan and her family and follow Christa on Facebook – “Going With The Gagons” and on Instagram and on Tik Tok.
Please share Christa’s post with moms you know who could use the empathy and encouragement. Join the conversation and post a comment below for Christa or talk about your mom’s heart. Thank you.
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Thank you for sharing your story Christa. We too have 2 boys & a girl & our girl had special needs growing up & she still does. I will be praying for you, Jordan & your family.
Dear Christa: I was so moved in church yesterday by your courage and resiliency to share your story. We have been bringing bottles and you are in our prayers. I was touched when you expressed that you had no idea the heart could feel that amount of love for one human being. May you continue to feel God’s love carrying you through this. Thank you for your words. They truly resonated with my heart.
Thanks Adena. From one loving mother to another.
Thanks Faye for sharing.
Christa you so eloquently put into words what Moms’ do! Circumstances may crush us for a time but then with the support of our faith, family and friends we fight! Jesus gives us hope of better things to come and hope for tomorrow! I pray that Jordan receives her miracle! Stay strong but lean on all of us when you need too! God Bless! Bev
Thank you Beverley. Great words of support and encouragement.