Although Sunday routines were engraved into her life, Jini Kim doesn’t think she really knew the full meaning of being a Christian.
A guest post from Jini Kim.
SUNDAYS
For as long as I can remember, Sundays were always filled with singing and worship and laughter with fellow Christians. Sunday morning routines would consist of my mother and I picking out clothes appropriate for a Sunday service, and my father driving the three of us to church.
My parents would drop me off at the children’s service before going to their own.
CHURCH, COOKIES AND ICE CREAM
I loved going to church because I would get to see my friends and sing the songs so familiar to me. But the real fun began after service and bible study. Close family friends would gather for lunch and coffee, and us kids would always get ice cream or cookies.
As I look back on those days, I’m grateful that my parents drove me every Sunday to church and for creating a warm environment for me to grow in, not only physically but spiritually as well.
FACTS AND FAITH
Jesus dying and rising from the dead in three days was never a question. It was just fact.
The fact that Jesus was born of a virgin Mary, the fact that God sent his only son for us, who had not even been born yet, and crucifying him on the cross for our yet uncommitted sins was just a fact set in stone; common sense, if you will.
I’ve never questioned if God existed or not. Not once did I doubt that God was real.
QUESTIONING FAITH
As I started growing up and finding out new stuff taught in school, or having conversations with non-believers, there were times I started to question myself.
As the “loss of childhood” archetype goes, my whimsical world of being absolutely free and happy-go-lucky was slowly starting to fade.
Adolescence did not treat me kindly at all. Depression hit me hard, just like the one third of North America that it affects.
In that time I let go of God and was trying to ignore all of His ways.
Although I knew these facts, I couldn’t handle reality, and I knew I needed a break from everything – from school to church to social life.
RETURNING TO FAITH ON A TRIP TO KOREA
It was then that I decided to take a semester off from school and go back to Korea to rest and to recollect myself again. I didn’t go there thinking about church, or God at all. But, a close friend of mine, without telling me, had registered me in a program for newcomers at that church.
The first few meetings made me feel somewhat uncomfortable, taking into account that I was the only one not living in Korea. However, I soon fell in love with that place, and re-met God through the various programs and works that God allowed me to partake in.
SOMETHING MIRACULOUS
During those times, yes, it was hard. It was physically tiring to pull through all the commitment that I had agreed to uphold. Yet, amidst that, something miraculous happened.
God never gave up on me. He never let me forget that He was the Almighty God. He never let me escape that fact. How? He had engraved on my heart the fact that Jesus was my only way and reason to survive, or to even live on.
I realized that it’s not what the results are that make you love God. No matter what the result is, no matter how things turn out to be, the key is the relationship between us and God.
God works in mysterious unknowable, untouchable, unimaginable ways in which we humans will never understand or predict.
We just have to trust in Him.
Jini is a a participant in The Writers Group at North Pointe. This is her first published piece.
Please leave a comment for Jini. Thank you.
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