Sight is taken for granted until you lose it. And then everything comes into focus.
As most REVwords readers know, I suffered a retinal detachment in May 2020. I had just finished nine months work as a transitional pastor in Barrhead and was enjoying a Saturday without any responsibilities. Without warning, the vision in my right eye started to diminish. A green colour seeped in on the side of my eye. I could see it in the mirror, so I dismissed it as something that would pass. There was no pain. Why worry.
Detachment
The green coloration remained all day and into Sunday. It was COVID, we isolated, watching church online. Monday morning, I was first in line when my eye doctor’s office opened. From there I was referred to the retinal clinic in Edmonton. Still no panic or urgency.
Did you know there are only two retinal clinics in Alberta? Edmonton and Calgary.
The next day my wife drove to me to the clinic. A surgeon diagnosed a full retinal detachment, and I was sent to the Royal Alexandra Hospital for surgery. After three surgeries, five months of recovery and no driving, I was informed the nerve damage was so great I would not regain my sight. 85% of retinal surgeries in Alberta are successful. My outcome was in the other group.
Caution
I was happy to follow advice and cut back on activities that could jeopardize the sight in my good eye. The oblong shape of my corneas make them susceptible to retinal detachment. Recovery was an interesting journey in mental health and the effects of sustained looking down. My surgeon gave a stern warning that the next time I had any symptoms of a retinal detachment I should immediately get to the clinic.
That day came on October 1st.
Jocelyn and I were in central Alberta, getting ready to attend a prayer meeting in Calgary the next day. Around 9:15pm, my good eye started to experience colours and flashes of light. Anxious, but calmly, I told Jocelyn what was happening.
My first reaction was, “I can’t go blind. I’m only 70. I’ve got so many more things to do. I have a wedding to officiate this weekend.”
Thankful For Sight
The effects persisted for another ten minutes. My anxiety level rose, so I called the emergency line for the retinal clinic and was calmed by the responding surgeon. He told me to get to Edmonton and see him first thing on the 2nd. Jocelyn packed us up in record time and drove to Edmonton.
A retinal migraine. Have you heard of that? Me neither. But that was what happened to me. Not vision threatening. My good eye was still 20:20. Rest required.
Thank God for sight. And mercy.
Blindness is not the end of the life or function. But sight is so much better.
Seeing Ahead
I see that I can’t live cautiously and fearfully that each day could bring another episode. And really, we can’t see beyond any moment to perceive a threat to our health or wellness. Life is a risk, but God is good, and trust is the only way.
My greatest fear isn’t losing my sight but wasting my sight while I have it. God, give me eyes to see what is of most value in my remaining time on earth.
Are you struggling with adversity? Setbacks? Loss? Pray, “Open my eyes, God, I want to see you, experience your mercy, and feel your healing presence.”
Let me know if I can be of support to you. Bob.pb.jones@gmail.com
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