Our youngest son and his wife have blessed us with two gems – Quinn Marie and Lena Grace.
I am reminded of their middle names because I heard both being used during a family gathering. You know you’re in trouble when your mom or dad uses your full name, right?
My son asked me if I ever got impatient with him when he was little. The first thing I thought to say was, “I’m glad you don’t remember.”
Here’s what I actually said…
1. Parenting and impatience go hand-in-hand.
“It was disappointing to me when I felt impatient towards you and your brother.”
I thought I was patient. Parenting pointed out that I wasn’t.
The level of a child’s annoyance is strangely correlated to a parent’s fatigue and stress level. Overactive and tired children can grate on an already distressed parent’s nerves. They did on mine.
Pre-schoolers aren’t expected to have a lot of self-control, especially when they are tired. Expectations are much, much higher with parents, even when they are tired.
“Son, you don’t have to be perfect as a parent, just under control. God is good at helping parents develop self-control.
When life pushes you to your limit and you are hard pressed, what squeezes out will be how much of God’s love y
ou’ve allowed in to your life.
2. Enjoy their childishness while you can.
Sooner than you know it or like it, they will be growing up, moving on and moving out. Childhood is a gift that parents can enjoy vicariously.
See your role as “Dad” as your highest calling. Your girls are a gift from God. They are more precious than anything that can be bought. Their formative time with you is relatively brief. Each day is precious. Don’t wish any day away because of your own dreams.
Love them.
Protect them.
Enjoy them.
As they age, be prepared to hold them while you let them go.
3. You are the most valuable male in your daughters’ lives.
You will show your daughters how a man should treat a woman by how you treat their mom and how you treat them.
Do everything you can to avoid sending them to events – take them.
Go to their swimming classes and ballet classes. Take them to church with you – don’t send them with their mom. Volunteer to be their coach in soccer. Show up at the school activity days. Watch movies they like.
Have a tea party at least once a week with them. Wear pink, if necessary (real fathers do).
Help them grow up knowing one thing – that they never have to earn your love. That you love them because they are yours. You will always be their biggest fan. In so doing you give them the best shot at understanding God’s kind of love for them.
Hug their mom in front of them. Kiss their mom in front of them. Open doors for her. Pull out a chair for her. Say good things about her in front of them. When things go sideways, let them hear you apologize. Help them feel comforted by the tone and temper of your voice.
You’ll be glad you did. I know, because I am your father.
APPLICATION: Are you a parent? What’s one thing love about parenting? Please leave a comment below.
Pointes of View exists in order to help people grow their faith in Jesus, build healthy relationships and effectively live out their purpose.
- Subscribe. You’ll get helpful content in your email box on Mondays and Thursdays, as well as upcoming events at North Pointe Community Church, Edmonton, Alberta.
- Follow on Twitter. Daily tweets with info I think you’ll be interested in.
- Friend on Facebook. If you “Friend” my page, let me know you found me here.
- Connect on Linkedin. I like this because it reminds me what people think I’m good at.
My late husband, Winston always had time for our 2 girls growing up. Now it’s those precious memories they hold dear to their hearts. He was the MVM in their lives!! Thank you Pastor Bob for your awesome advice to all parents & grandparents 😉
Winston was a wise father. Your daughters are blessed, Anne. Its a privilege to have a small role in their lives now.