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introvert2The most misunderstood person on the planet is an introvert. The reason you don’t hear much about that from us is because we are introverts.

Silent no more.

I’m coming out of my shell to explode ten myths about introverts.

MYTH #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

Not true at all. I am a preacher. Some people say I talk too much.

I don’t like to talk unless I have something to say. Introverts hate small talk. I default to the serious all the time  – or talking family,  church, writing, Jesus or  football. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in and they won’t stop talking for minutes.

MYTH #2 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

Come on! I love relaxing with a good book (non-fiction), a long walk, or 5 solo hours of driving to Saskatoon. You’ve never known fun if you haven’t spent two hours, alone, writing about what you’re passionate about. Introverts relax and have fun – just their own kind of fun. Introverts typically relax at home, not in busy public places. Introverts usually aren’t thrill seekers or adrenaline junkies.

MYTH #3 – Introverts are weird.

“Loner” is a better word than “weird.” You know the “march-to-the-beat-of-a-different-drummer” kind of person? You can’t beat an introvert for that.  Introverts think for themselves. They think deeply. Everything they do is deep. Its only when introverts try to act like an extrovert that they may appear to be weird.

MYTH #4 – Introverts are rude.

Silence is an introvert’s friend. Introverts enjoy silence much too much and can appear to be rude or aloof. Introverts don’t mind hours of silence. My wife and I have driven from Edmonton to Calgary and engaged in conversation approaching Red Deer only to see if a pit stop was needed.

Thinking before they speak – the l-o-n-g pause – is also a mark of introverts. My delayed responses to questions are so I can answer precisely. To others, delays can appear to be uncertainty, lack of focus or boredom.Quiet

MYTH #5 – Introverts are shy.

I am shy by nature but that’s got nothing to do with being an introvert. Introversion has everything to do with re-energizing in solitude and very little to do with socializing. What introverts need is a reason to come out of themselves to interact.  If you want to talk to an introvert, just start talking. Give them an opportunity to jump in or drag them in by asking a question to make it a bona fide dialogue.

MYTH #6 – Introverts don’t like people.

I like people. I love my family. However, with my wife or my granddaughters, I like to listen more than talk. Even with my friends, I prefer listening. I like to hear their stories and ideas. My friends would say I am loyal. My closest friendships are decades old.introvert3

MYTH #7 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public

Introverts take in experiences quickly and also tire quickly in public. I love North Pointe on a Sunday with the energy and sounds of hundreds of people. I love giving hugs, high fives and praying with people. I do look forward to going home and recharging before my next public gathering…which sometimes is only an hour or two later at a prayer service or fellowship gathering.

MYTH #8 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts don’t mind being alone but they don’t want to be alone. They enjoy their own company and can entertain themselves quite nicely but do appreciate people. Our eldest son is the most extroverted in our family. When he was little, sending to him his room was punishment enough. Our youngest son is more of an introvert and punishment by solitary confinement was actually freeing for him.

MYTH #9 – Introverts are all nerds.

The Wikipedia definition of a nerd includes “may have difficulty participating in, or even following, sports.” Do you think Michael Jordan had any trouble participating in sports? O, yes, Michael is an extreme introvert. The NBA’s Larry Bird and Jerry West, the NFL’s Steve Smith and the PGA’s Tiger Woods are all introverted.

Introverts can be superstar athletes, high performance CEO’s or drop-dead gorgeous models. What sets introverts apart is they are very aware of their thoughts and emotions. This can be a drag, especially when setbacks and struggles occur  in the public eye.introvert

MYTH #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become extroverts.

Introverts don’t need “fixing.”

The world needs introverts to be introverted.

I like what Susan Cain says in her book “Quiet” – “There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”6 INSIGHTS FOR INTROVERTS


QUIET: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can’t Stop Talking

6 Insights for Introverts

APPLICATION: Are you an introvert or extrovert? Let me know what you thought of this post. Please leave a comment below. Thank you (especially to you introverts).

I write to inspire people to be real, grow an authentic faith in Jesus, enjoy healthy relationships and discover their life purpose. If this material is helpful to you, please follow me.

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Bob Jones

Happily married to Jocelyn for 44 years. We have two adult sons, Cory and his wife Lynsey and their son Vincent and daughter Jayda; Jean Marc and his wife Angie and their three daughters, Quinn, Lena and Annora. I love inspiring people through communicating, blogging, and coaching. I enjoy writing, running, and reading. I'm a fan of the Double E, Bruins, Celtics, Red Sox and Pats. Follow me on Twitter @bobjones49ers


  • Ron Powell says:

    I love this. I feel it gives me freedom to be who I am and not have to push myself to be something that I am not. Thanks for sharing about how you are wired, Pastor Bob. I really appreciate your vulnerability and authenticity!

  • bob jones says:

    Thanks, Ron! May your tribe increase.

  • Patricia McNeil says:

    I am very much an introvert. It’s good to know I’m not the only one. It’s how God made us. I used to think there was something wrong with being this way. Now I have accepted it and like who I am. I’m working on not feeling like I always have to fit in. The points above are so me. I agree with myths. I most prefer time alone although I enjoy spending time around other people as well. Thanks for this Pastor Bob. It helps me know that I’m not alone in being who I am. I hope it helps others as well. You are such a blessing to me and to everyone.

  • Nadine Elcock says:

    Wow, I know I’m an introvert, and reading all this, makes me feel better about myself. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Maria Sioga Clarke says:

    This is me 100%! Very freeing. Thank you for this post Pastor Bob 🙂

  • bob jones says:

    You are welcome, Maria!

  • bob jones says:

    You are very welcome Nadine! Thank you for speaking up.

  • bob jones says:

    We share that trait in common as well as a number of healthy qualities. Thank you, Patricia.

  • Patricia says:

    Thank you Pastor Bob, that’s so like me. Bit by bit l am breaking out of my shell.

  • adena lowry says:

    I have read the book, “Quiet”. This is me. I’m a teacher, (alone in my classroom at lunch, ha ha – seeking a bit of quiet), but I’m with students all day long who demand I interact with them. I thoroughly enjoy them, but do need the time to recharge.

  • bob jones says:

    Love it! Alone…in your classroom…at lunch…recharging. Understood.

  • Sheri says:

    After reading this article and some self-reflection, I finally figured out that I have always been an introvert! As most of my friends throughout my life were extroverts, I acted or pretended to be the same because that’s what I thought “normal” was! Up until recently, I thought there was something wrong with me and began questioning everything about myself. Then I read this article and realized this is perfectly me and there is nothing wrong with being an introvert! Thank you so much for writing and posting this Pastor Bob!

  • bob jones says:

    Sheri, you are so welcome. Normal…an interesting word. Introverts are a minority, making up about 25% of the population. Susan Cain’s book title, “Introverts In A World That Won’t Stop Talking” is genius. I am happy I could help you understand and appreciate who you are as God made you. Peace.

  • Tracy Dunham says:

    Thanks for making the point that introverts re-energize in solitude. I am someone who is kind of in the middle with a slight lean toward being introverted. Often people assume that I’m an extrovert because I am capable in front of people… but I don’t like small talk and I absolutely must have time to recharge by myself. It’s so helpful to know your own rhythms to keep your mind and soul healthy. Great insights!

  • bob jones says:

    A comment is like a long distance high-five. Thanks Tracy. See, we do have some things in common besides a love for the J’s.

  • Adam Pearse says:

    Super, now I have a new book to read in solitude while recharging. Thanks Pastor Bob!

  • bob jones says:

    “Quiet” is a great book and lifestyle choice.

  • Troy Tyler says:

    Get a room of us together and it will be silent. Hit on a topic everybody is interested in. Well let’s just say hours later and messages of where are you ? will be the only thing that stops the chatter ha ha . But on the flip side when the conversation is done , It’s Done as silence once again returns. Why mince words , we want the facts and love the fantastical only after establishing the facts. Amazing how introverts are so imaginable and able to grasp out of the box concepts. Yet love routine and constant structure as well. God Bless and thanks for the message WE’RE ALRIGHT

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