The narrative of exceptional Ukrainian resilience is one of the most harmful tropes I’ve seen during this war.
We refuse to give up. Yes, we have picnics in -15°C. Yes, we keep living, drinking coffee, and even laughing occasionally, but all of this stems from a lack of choice.
We are no more resilient than any other nation. You cannot expect us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders while being bombed and burying our friends, only to pat us on the back for how well we take the hit.
A women’s prayer meeting inside a church in Ukraine. Trying to stay warm.
Ukrainian resilience is not exceptional, this narrative only creates the illusion that we can withstand anything. In reality, we are just normal people caught in an awful situation, who needs help, not a pat on the shoulder.
The last time I wrote to you, I mentioned how hard the days had been. I didn’t know then how much harder the following week would become. Kyiv is now facing an emergency situation in the energy sector after russian attacks.
“The first to break were those who believed it would all end soon. After them came those who believed it would never end. Those who survived were the ones who focused on their own actions, without expectations about what might or might not happen.”
− Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, reflecting on psychological survival under extreme conditions.
January 16, 2026
11:37 am
Today I had a nervous breakdown.
I took a sedative. I need to buy something stronger. For now, my mind refuses to accept this new reality. But it will. The same thing happened at the beginning of the war. The mind rejects what is happening, the body weakens, the nerves give in. And then, gradually, everything inside you adapts.
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