I never thought life would lead me to this moment in a million years. Ours was the “perfect” life. My wife walked with amazing courage and an attitude void of fear as she battled strokes and years later, cancer.
When Heroes Fall
But deep inside, like all of us, doubt and fear would creep in. My wife’s life was about to end. The courage and fearless fortitude it must have taken to accept her death and then to take her final breath is beyond my understanding.
My wife was, and still is my hero.
The fearless love we shared makes me stronger when I see her in that light. I look at what I had in life, and not what I lost.
I had my very own super hero…my Wonder Woman.
Chris Post is a member of North Pointe’s Writers Group. This is his first online post and he chose to share the most important story in his life in hopes that it would offer empathy and inspiration to others. Thank you Chris!
The Glow
Each day I wake with a future that looks so bright, but I want to revert back to my past.
Yesterday was so safe, beautiful and magical. I had a love in my life that made me feel whole; made her feel whole.
We were teammates, best friends, and the best part, we were lovers.
We walked through life with a shine and glow that could be seen for miles. As you approached this glow you would be compelled to just smile and feel the love of two individuals.
Push And Pull
There are many roads and paths we choose to take, or are forced to take in life.
When choice is a part of life’s path, we have more control over the direction. You can adjust the sails of your “life” boat, and reconfigure thinking to the next move. It’s easier as we get gently pulled along life’s ocean current.
Circumstances however are the “push” in life we sometimes need. They give us that nudge we need to push through fears that come when we are compelled to do something. The downside to being “pushed” through circumstances is that we cannot always control the throttle.
Racing through life when you’re not ready is terrifying.
Fear
My fears build up in my head.
“What if people don’t like me?”
“What if my writing offends people?”
“What if I made the wrong choice in life?”
“How can I go on when I’ve lost so much?”
These fears come to me throughout my day, and usually without warning. They sneak up on me like a thief in the night. Slowly creeping towards me. Fear wears the midnight burglar mask, and hides in the shadows just behind me.
The Thief
Without warning fear robs me.
Joy? Stolen.
Happiness? Gone
Life? Plundered.
Fear takes what it wants, leaving me empty, scared and helpless. What just happened?
Someone help me.
I scream out but no one hears my plea. The fear roars from within, and I know only God and I can hear this cry.
Held Accountable
Is this really happening to me or am I letting it happen? I’m my own worst critic, and this is my double-edged sword.
How I see myself helps me stay focused and on track in life.
I want to be an example to…
my family,
my friends,
my neighbors,
even the stranger walking by.
I hold myself accountable and in such high standards that the fear of falling from this perch scares me to my core.
The passing of my wife took me on a profound personal journey. I have never felt such pain and agony in all my life. Highs and lows as I tried fitting back into the norm of the world. I would hide my feelings so that I wouldn’t scare people away. This worked for awhile, but did nothing for me to grow and learn how to handle the grief and the fear of it changing me to someone I don’t even know.
Who Am I?
I am the guy writing this right now! Not scared or fearful for sharing my feelings.
I am the guy getting stronger each day! Fear has picked a fight with the wrong guy.
I am the guy who will walk tall! I have a purpose, and God has given me One More Day to complete this journey.
My fears are many.
They will come and go throughout my life.
What I do today will help me prepare for my battles with fear in the future.
What’s Happened Already…
I was never a writer.
I never read books.
I’ve never spoken in front of a group of other writers…
But look at me.
I’m here now overcoming my fears!
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APPLICATION: Please leave a comment for Chris below. Thank you.
Hope grows here. I write to share stories that inspire people, build faith in Jesus, and offer lasting purpose. If this material is helpful to you, please follow me.
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Keep fighting the good fight…walk tall!!