In February 2013, Cassie Stevens was a healthy, happy teen. She developed what was thought to be a sinus infection.
One surgery, five MRI’s, five CT scans, one bone scan, one PET scan, two biopsy’s, one lumbar puncture, and one bone marrow biopsy later, Cassie was diagnosed with cancer.
Courageous Faith
Her grandfather attended our church and in the summer Cassie would come to visit and attended church with him. Her family, friends, and our congregation prayed for her to be healed. She believed she would live. We believed she would live.
If God answered prayer based on quantity and sincerity, Cassie would have experienced a miracle. But she didn’t.
Her family wrote about her, “Cassie was born in Louisville, Kentucky on January 30, 2000, and was most recently living in Reno, NV where she pursued her passions of art and figure skating. She was a positive and vibrant girl who loved life, people, nature, and animals. Her smile was so warm and beautiful that it lit up the world, it lifted all worries, and it spread PURE LOVE. You just couldn’t help but smile back when you saw Cassie smile.”
On July 17, 2013 Cassie passed away.
She was only 13. That’s the same age as our eldest granddaughter.
For a parent, the death of a child is life’s worst nightmare.
Cassie’s parents, Sherry and Greg Stevens, suffered “unimaginable heartbreak…holes in our hearts that will never be filled.”
They were sustained in part by two of Cassie’s favorite sayings were “Love Life”and “Live like there’s no Tomorrow”.
Death Is Never Easy
At the funeral, her family played a slide presentation of pictures of Cassie with her favourite song, “Cups,” as background music. One lyric from the song says, “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.” Eleven years later I remember an image of Cassie at the water’s edge on a beach, turning and smiling at the camera as that lyric played.
We laid Cassie’s body to rest in Edmonton, Alberta knowing full well her spirit was with Jesus, her Creator and Saviour.
Her dad said, “Minute by minute…that’s how you live life after you lose a child. You get through a minute, and move on to the next, and then the next….some minutes are good – like those in which you remember something wonderful…and some minutes are very difficult – like when you realize all those important life milestones that will never come (graduations, marriage, etc.)…but all you can do is move on to the next minute..”
It never gets easier, but there is hope.
“God comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does He do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (Today’s Living Bible)
Have you gone through grief? Would you put your heartache to good use and help someone who is where you were? Join the conversation. Post a comment below. Thank you.
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Learning to live with the loss of a loved one, especially a child, is like learning to live with an amputation. In time you heal, the scar is always there though, and you are never the same. A part of you is gone. One thing that has helped me in the many losses of loved ones, is the knowledge that God hears our every cry, even when we hurt so much, that we can’t put it to words. Romans 8:26-27 says this, ” In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” In some times of grief there seems to be a bottomless pit of pain and anguish. We feel helpless, lost, even blind to anything else but the pain. There is no way to describe how we feel, there just don’t seem to be the words to explain it. Even to those who have shared similar losses. But these two verses explain that even in the depths of out pain, God is with us. The Holy Spirit is there and understands what we feel, perhaps even better than we can ever explain to anyone. And He intercedes for us. He is working to try to help even as we start to go through this trial. This is no quick process to be sure, but the Word promises us that we do not have to walk alone. I will continue to pray for God to work for this family as they endure this time of pain. I have been praying for Cassie ever since I heard about this. You see, my daughter’s name is Cassandra, we call her “Cassie”. She was born with kidney problems and by the time she was 3, she had undergone many surgeries. For years everything was better for her after the last surgery. She is now 16, and the kidney problems have returned. In some ways worse than before, and I cry often in worry over her. Then I pray, and I know God hears my prayers. He hears ALL prayers. He is with you in your time of need.
May the Lord bring you peace in your time of anguish. May you feel His presence throughout every day, and may He heal your broken hearts over this great loss that has happened.
Times like this will test the strength of the family but they will be in my prayers.
Thank you Shayne for praying.
Thank you CJ. Praying for your Cassie.
Dealing with the loss of a child. I have many times thought deeply about that myself as I try desperately to think from the parents perspective, praying and befriending them as they cry out to God – “why not me” .
We do not understand the reason. But God is in control. Yes and this life as we know it is relatively short. Believing as we have been told, that we will be together forever in the Eternal Life as has been prepared for us; can provide consolation.
I wear a green wristband engraved with the words, “Love life…and smile!” Four simple words that are a reminder from Cassie about how to go through life with your head and your hopes up.