Dr. Henry Cloud begins his book The Power of the Other with a compelling personal account.
A recruit, training to become a Navy SEAL is on his last test – a grueling endurance swim in the ocean – and his strength fails him.
He has nothing left.
About to signal he’s giving up.
All his years of training. The sacrifice. His dream of being a SEAL.
Disappearing.
A Friend On Shore
Suddenly he sees his friend standing on the shore ahead. He has completed the swim and is officially a Navy SEAL. The man on the shore yells and pumps his fist to let the man in the water know “he could do it”.
The man in the water would later describe what happened saying that as their “eyes locked…something happened. Something beyond him. His body jumped into another gear, into another dimension of performance that he had not had access to before”.
He was able to finish and achieve his dream.
The Power Of The Other
This is what Dr. Cloud calls, “the power of the other”.
The SEAL onshore was Dr Cloud’s brother-in-law, Mark.
Mark was killed in Iraq doing what he loved. His devotion inspired Dr Cloud to write the book.
Connections Have Power
Cloud’s thesis is “there is a neglected truth about a relationship: the invisible attributes of relationship, the connections between people, have real, tangible, and measurable power.”
And the need for connection begins even before birth. It goes literally from the womb to the tomb. “Relationship affects our physical and mental functioning throughout life.
This invisible power, the power of others, builds both the hardware and the software that leads to healthy functioning and better performance.”
Who Is Doing Life With You?
Cloud explains: “Much of what we achieve would not have been possible if other people had not been involved in one way or another.”
In this context, Cloud observes, “The undeniable reality is that how well you do in life and in business depends not only on what you do but also on who is doing it with you.”
Who is doing life with you?
Dr Henry Cloud, TED Talk
Who are the “others” that you are doing life with?
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Good Morning Pastor Bob. I agree with Dr. Henry Cloud. It really matters who you “hang out” with…”Birds of your Feather”. I also have experienced for myself, “The Power of the Other”. I have “Root friends”….that I can count on my hands, that are true friends, that have supported me through good times & bad times too. As it is always easy to be friends when times are good….but, really see the friends that surround you when times are bad. That is the “proof in the pudding”. (The analogy given for friendship…3 categories: The Leaves, The Branches & The Roots.) I have also seen what happens when people you love & respect, choose to pick unsavoury folks to be friends with. The quote that comes to mind, “when you hang-out with dogs, you are going to get fleas”. Let’s just say…it was disastrous, watching it unfold & fail miserably. It tends to be toxic. You always reap what you sow. I have seen this over & over again. My life experience has taught me a lot…& my own philosophy is: Have integrity, Be kind & empathetic, & Don’t be a person, you wouldn’t like yourself. Someone told me to put that on a t-shirt. LOL! I just might…
Have a great week! ❤️ Thanks for sharing your blog with us. I always enjoy it! Keep on, keeping on.
Sounds like a good Ironman book to read.
Agreed.
So good to have friends and to have a friend you need to be a friend, which you are.